Like This

I want to be free and happy
just like this

My Name Is Jonas

Do you see me,
the way
I see me?
I hope not.

Missed the Boat

"I have written down all the reasons why I am leaving, though I am overcome with a sad strength for the world because I have not spoken to anyone all day. My resignation to being alone is a sea under which I can breathe."
-Snow Falls And Then Disappears-
The Secret Lives of People in Love

Looking Back On It All

Have you ever searched your mind for those moments, those memories that you can’t for the life of you remember. Somehow you always end up with those random moments that are insignificant. There are times like those, when I remember the weirdest things, usually conversations, attitudes, how the trees looked in the fall of 98, weird scents, such as blood, the smell of heat, mold, leaves; the most random things you can think of, I’ve remembered. But all the things I want to remember all seemed to be lost.

I don’t know about anyone else, but as I’m becoming older, I’m so confused on who I am as a person. I am constantly wondering why I act the way I do, say the things I say, why I am the way I am today. The only things I can work from are from my experiences and my life so I’m constantly searching my childhood for answers. I think they’re hidden in there somewhere, somewhere in the subconscious of my mind I think a part of me was unconsciously doing things hoping I would be able to find them later on.

I don’t know, maybe I’m crazy. Maybe I’m just searching for all the impossible answers in all the wrong places. But then it just leaves the question, then where do I look? Where do I start? And both of those questions just add to the many I already have and still leave me without a single answer.

Besides my many random thoughts, I have more questions. I was thinking yesterday, what if someone stopped you and asks you “How is it? How has your life been overall?” Would be happy with your answer? Could you say you loved it, no matter how hard it might have been? Remember it’s not just how it is right now but, everything together. As much as I’d like to think I wouldn’t even have to think about the answer and I’d scream without hesitation “FUCKING AMAZING!”, I know deep down, even if I did, I wouldn’t mean it.

Holding it all together

Ask your self, how do you hold "it" all together and then wait for the answer.

Hit the Switch

" 'Cause theres a switch that gets hit and it all stops making sense
And in the middle of drinks, maybe the fifth or the sixth
I'm completely alone at a table of friends
I feel nothing for them. I feel nothing, nothing"

Dealing

In English we're learning how when you subconsciously don't want to deal with stress, problems or things that are just to unbearable for you to handle you have defense mechanisms that hide those feelings and thoughts from you. One is called Undoing, where you feel one thing but unknowing do the opposite of what you really feel. Its to bad I already do that consciously.

Anything but here

If you could stop time, would you?
There are plenty of times in my life when I'd just like to snap my fingers and make everything stop and just go away. But that is unfortunately not possible. Life does not stop for anyone, for anything, for any reason. Even though, I wish it would

Searching

We're all out there. Searching. Searching for answers we can never find. Answers that will never be there. Searching for hope, for happiness, for love, for purpose. Searching for meaning.
Frankly, I'm tired of searching. I want answers instead of 10 more questions. I want hope instead of despair. I want to feel needed instead of needless.
You can be in a room with over 1,000 people and still be the loneliest person in the world and honestly, that is exactly what I feel like

Frazzled

Alone

Acceptance

Drained

Not There

i miss you so much.

Feelin' like jumping

Tempted

Torn

Overwhelmed

Loved

Cramped

Obscured

Unrelinquishable

Anxious

Plain

Rough

Reflective

Trapped

Secure

Relaxed

Disoriented

Sick

Overjoyed

Rushed

Empty

Furious

Ashamed

Spirited

Exhausted

Unsure

Delightful

Whimsical

Tranquilly

Longing

Deliverance

Downfall

Release

Distrait

Sole

Dear Diary

This is a diary of my photographs, either taken recently or in the past.
Each picture and title will reflect my thoughts or emotions for that day.
I'm hopping to take pictures each day if not two or three times a week.
I can get some good use out of my new camera, and get some practice playing with it.