Lips

I realized today as i watched myself sing in the mirror while driving
I am obsessed and completely narcissistic when it comes to my lips.
I honestly think that they are the most beautiful part of my body,
besides my eyes.

seriously.
I'm so fucked up.

Torn

"I know how that is, it's the most difficult thing in the world

because youre close enough

that you keep hope

but then you realize

well...fuck this isn't going to happen

but you don't want to give it up

because it'll just feel even worse

not being friends"

-Brendan

better

I feel much better now.
=)

NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT.

TO "YOU"

NO ONE LIKES YOU. NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT.
YOURE STUPID AND SMELLY AND GROSS
AND A HORRIBLE KISSER
AND YES, YOU ARE A LONER. A LONER WITH NO FRIENDS
AND NO I WILL NOT PROVE YOU WRONG BY JOINING YOUR STUPID FUCKING GROUP
BECAUSE YOU'RE AN ATTENTION FUCKING WHORE.

Naked

As much as I'd hate to admit it,
you being naked almost 24/7
made me feel more comfortable my sexuality
I'll never thank you for this in person though
that'd be wayyyy to weird.

Falling Apart

Do you honestly even know me anymore?

I can, will and do always care, worry, and think about you.
So tell me why you cant, wont and dont.
and then explain to me on that basis, why are we still friends.
or more importantly,
why am i'm sticking around waiting for someone
who doesnt care about me in the least.

I am always going to love and care about you
but
I really dont think i can do this anymore.

Pondering

things i'm beginning to realize i believe in
never change for anyone
dont settle for anyone
people who hurt you arent your soul mates
your friends will always change
everyone has a purpose/calling

things i'm pondering
is love settling?
is sex always everything in a relationship?
could you really be okay with spending the rest of your life with one person?

things i know
i hate tom for making me question everything i believed in

the realization

one of the people i love most in my life never shows or tells me that they love or care about me

I miss this

I hate how being at school makes it impossible to see them

i feel

I feel like there are a lot of things i want or need to talk about but, at the same time, i feel like i really dont want to talk about them at all.