Fucking PISSED

HONESTLY,
YOU'RE GOING TO TEXT ME BACK WITH
"thanks for the birthday wishes. but for god sakes, stop calling and hanging up with a restricted number. its weird and stupid."

WE HAVEN'T TALKED IN OVER A MONTH
AND THAT'S WHAT YOU SAY TO ME
ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS
NOT TO MENTION I ONLY DID THAT ONCE
NOT TO MENTION I DON'T NEED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO YOU
NOT TO MENTION THE WHOLE POINT OF IT WAS SO YOU WOULDN'T CALL ME BACK
NOT TO MENTION
its obvious you haven't changed a bit
its obvious you still piss me off to no end
its obvious we're never going to be friends again
fuck you fucker


i'm just so pissed i texted you back in my drunken state of sleep
"well then you tell me what you want"
wtf nicole marie carriere
do you just let everyone walk all over you?
FUCK YOU FUCKER

waste of paint.

"hi.
so i know your birthday's tomorrow but i figured id call today.
so anyways happy early birthday.

i'm sorry things ended the way they did

i've been thinking about you
and
i hope that everything is going well for you
and continues to go well for you.
happy early birthday again."



i just want you to know i'm thinking about you
and that maybe you're thinking about me too.

freaking the fuck out.

I'm freaking the fuck out.
i want to call you
i am going to call you
i don't know when to call you
i'm mad nervous right now.
i think i'll call you at 3.
maybe.
maybe i'll call you right now.
i dont know.

Ano

I've made some extremely hard and life changing decisions
in the last year
but,
id like to think
they're for the better.

NyQuil

I'm sick
and drugged up on NyQuil
and i'm listening to Bright Eyes
and I wish I wasnt sick
and I have to write a paper
and a lot of other things
but I have tomorrow and Monday to them too
but I dont want to put them to the last minute
I just wanna feel better and not be sick

my head hurts





last night i had a dream about you.
justin daniel dorsheimer,
i missed you yesterday
i wonder if you ever miss me
i wonder if you ever think of me
i hope all is well with you
and your life is just like you wanted

amazing

live, laugh, fuck you♥

I saw that today and burst out laughing
its just purely amazing

Tomorrow

so i'm moving in tomorrow
and i want to be there at 9.
which means we have to leave here by 8
which means i have to be up by 6:30
which means should go to bed like now.
AWESOME

Like a pretty bird in the breeze

I move in in FOUR days
i may be freaking out
a little
or maybe a lot

I dont know why

its been two weeks and I dont know why
but i have yet to take the pictures of you and i out of the frames
i dont know if its because i dont care
or if because somewhere im secretly expecting you to run back to me and start up where we left off
either way
tomorrow i'm taking them out and putting new ones
so they can be ready for me to take to school

Happy Belated Birthday

Happy Belated Birthday to me

I'm finally 19

Lets recap what we've learned in the past year

-lost a best friend

-gain new much better friends

-realized the school i was at was nothing i wanted

- gained way to much weight

-found out how to avoid panic attacks

-its okay to admit you need help

-true friends are always going to be there for you

-i have no idea what love is

- i have a low tolerance for attention seeking fuckers

-birthdays are amazing

-lazer hair removal is the most amazing fucking thing in the world

-i can be creative when i want to be

-each and every friendship is a safety blnket for me

-i've become more okay with saying goodbye to bad relationships

-parties without the parents are the best

-as delicious as bologna is, its the fattiest

-salt's going to kill me

-mom doesnt know how to handle problems

-a lot of other things i know