Let it out.

dear life lately,

you can go fuck yourself.

theres hasnt been a moment lately when i'm not thinking about something 

and not only does it scare me to death, its extremely mentally exhausting 

so i'm just gonna go through the little, medium and big things that have been bothering me

- I'm so fucking glad that you got to/made effort to see all you "great, amazing" friends before you left. OH and i love the fact that the people you did make an effort to see are the ones that don't give a flying shit about you either. OH and maybe the fact that I'm actually the only one whos there, listening and there to help you at the drop of a hat, and you didnt make time for me. Thats awesome. I'm so glad I value our friendship so much. Better yet, I'm so glad YOU value our friendship so much. fuck you.

-i dont understand why you brought her to the party. better yet, i dont get why you didnt ask if she could come, better yet i dont get why you didnt ask me period. better yet, i dont get why you dont answer my text messages ever. i dont know whats up with you, but you've changed. 

- so i was thinking on the ride home from the movie theater tonight that i have no idea what i'm going to do with you and i. but, i did come to the conclusion that i'm not okay with what i have and do put you through. I cant take the idea of me being "that" person who changes you. I know you do and act a certain type of differently around me because of our history and i get that, i understand that. but i feel like the more and more i stick around, the more and more you get accustom to acting that way around me, which turns into a habit type thing and then you'll just start acting that way around everyone. I love you and i feel like if i stick around much longer, i'll be a reason why you'll be going to shrink later on in life.

- i miss living at school. and i miss my roommates. no matter how dysfunctional we were

- i still think about you. and i still struggle with my feelings for you. but, then i just remind myself how much of an attention whore you are, how bad your breath was, and how horrible a kisser you were and then i'm okay. 

=)

- i know i said it already but, i love you. 

and i mean it .